Saturday's Story Behind The Picture

I've changed my mind about doing Saturday's Story Behind The Picture on the first and third Saturday of the month. Mostly, because I don't know I will remember which Saturday to post and which to leave off.

Without further ado, here is today's Saturday Behind The Picture.



We are at the Boston Children's Museum in their 3 and under room. Even though it is a bit of a drive from our house (an hour and a half), we've been coming at least once a week for the last few weeks. It is early August and hot. The museum and car ride have air conditioning, our house doesn't. The travel to and from the museum is perfect. I catch a car nap on both ways.

Every time.

Without fail.

Malone is about 14 months, give or take. We spend most of our time today in the 3 and under room. We are in the gated off area designated for crawlers. Malone is walking, but there are no crawlers using the space right now. And when there are we either leave or ask if they mind if we stay.

They never seem to mind.

This window is where we spend most of our time today. Malone has recently discovered the joy of pointing and it seems like he is always pointing at something. Today he is very interested in the people strolling along the river or dining al fresco. Every one in awhile, a boat comes by. That seems to be what pleases him most of all.

You can't really see his outfit well, but it is a green and white striped one piece shortie outfit from Baby Gap. I purchased it on super clearance the summer he was born, taking a risk on that the size would work out. The size is 12-18 months. My long and lean child has plenty of room in this, despite having on a cloth diaper.

I have set the ball rolling at work and they are looking for a full time position for me to return to, after being a SHAM and working part time.

I'm already mourning the loss of this kind of day. The one where I wake up and decide to take Malone to the museum.

Just because we can.

The Search For My Hour.

This morning I set out trying to find the extra hour I spoke about yesterday.

I tried to find it last night, but by 9:00 pm I just don't have it in me to really make productive use of time. I found myself making popcorn and zoning out to bad tv. I hope to shift the use of that hour too- maybe to reading or crafting. But for now, it is what it is.

My alarm went off at 5:00 am and I laid in bed for a good ten minutes trying to peel myself out. It was cozy, but I want and need this extra time.

The house is so quiet and perfect. I am afraid that at any second Malone is going to wake up and my time will be done. My focus will have to shift away from me and back to motherhood. So far, so good. He should be up in about 30 minutes which means that I will actually have found an hour and a half.

I am proud of myself for not wasting this time. It is precious. I have been intentional with most of it. Facebook only got 5 minutes of it. The other 55 minutes were spent returning comments, visiting your blogs, and reading entries/commenting from Shell's PYHO.

I will finish up this post and use the last few minutes to work on getting my master cleaning plan into a printable word document. I love lists and I need to be able to cross things off as I go. The complete master copy will go in my household management binder that I am attempting to create.

I don't have all of the answers and I am already seeing flaws/changes to make to this process. But I am enjoying the fruit that this intentional work is already starting to bear.

Underwhelmed.

I used to see the weekend as a time to play catch up on the things that were neglected all week around the house. This past Saturday however, I took a look around. There wasn't a space in my house I could go where my eyes didn't immediately dart to areas to clean and spaces to declutter. I felt cagey and anxious. I was snippy with my husband and stressed out.

Something needed to change ASAP.

I spent the rest of the weekend taking time to write down every single chore/housework task that needs to happen on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis. I wrote down projects that need to be completed. I made a list of things to put on Craigslist. I finally took the time to make a budget that balances to zero each month. I made a meal plan for the week.

When I had all of the data right in front of me, I was shocked to see how much there is to really do.

I want to do this for me, so that I won't be a crazy stressed out basket-case. But even more than that, Malone deserves to live in a clean and well organized space. Mike deserves a peaceful environment.

I'm trying really hard to make sure all of the daily tasks as well as a few of the weekly ones are accomplished each day. I'm keeping the laundry moving. Mike is pitching in too.

I'm finding I still need an hour or so more than what I currently have and working to find it. I will find it.

Somewhere.

Somehow.

But for now, I am enjoying being underwhelmed by it all.

Misadventures in the darkest hour.

Each night, Malone tends to end up in our bed sometime between midnight and 5:00 am. There is usually a one in four chance that either Mike or I will take a few kicks to the rib by his tiny little feet or he'll show up with some random treasure from his room.

Last night was no exception. He crawled up into our bed right around 3:00 am, bringing his Kleen Kanteen water bottle and wicked cough with him. He had a hard time setting into our space and was playing a really sweet game of "I want my water, here I'm done, I want it back, no take it." This went on for a half hour or so before I realized four things.

1. The water is probably helping to sooth his throat.
2. No one was going to get any sleep if Malone stayed in bed with us.
3. His water bottle was almost empty.
4. It is cold, dark, and I do not want to get out of bed to remedy #2 or #3.

I get out anyway, realizing quality sleep is more important.

So, here we are standing next to my bed at 3:30 am. I am thinking "I am SO SMART, my water bottle is here. I can just unscrew his water bottle and pour some of my water into his bottle. This is the BEST IDEA EVER."

Did I mention it is pitch black?

The pour goes well. I screw the cap of Malone's Kleen Kanteen on. I am even more impressed with myself. I mentally give myself a high five.

Then, I decide I should test out the Kleen Kanteen to make sure the lid is screwed on properly.

I hold out my hand and pour.

FAIL.

I do not realize that Malone is standing right underneath my hand.

It is still pitch black, remember?

The cap is not screwed on properly after all.

Malone is now a little wet and hysterical.

CRAP.

So much for not waking Michael up during this process and getting Malone to sleep in his room in a timely manner.

I try screwing the lid on (again in the dark) a few more times. Something isn't lining up right. I need light.

I take Malone into his room and tell him I'll be right there. I don't want to fully wake him up (as if the water didn't already do that!).

I go to the kitchen and stumble for the light.

Ahh.. it has two different screw sections. Who knew. One to seal the lid and one for the interchangeable tops.

Back to Malone's room I go. The cap is tight.

He's still mad. He's sitting up, crying hysterically.

"Are you angry at me?"

He's so worked up he's short of breath. "Yyyyyyeah. I'm mmmmmmad."

"I'm sorry buddy. I poured the water on your by mistake. It was an accident. Okay?"

"Do you want new jammies on?"

They're not super wet. Mostly because the water hit his head.

"Nnnnnooo. I waaaaaaaant my water."

I hand it to him and he takes a small sip. He's calmed down a little bit.

"There is no more left, Mama."

Oh, for Pete's sake.

Toddler logic is going to kill me. He knows the water poured out but he didn't see or hear me put more in when I was in the kitchen dealing with the blasted cap.

I don't want to fight about this one. Pick your battles right?

"Okay buddy, I will go and fill it up. You stay here."

Back to the kitchen I go, to "fill up" an already full water bottle.

I turn the faucet for a second to prove that I'm filling it.

I come back and hand it to him. He has calmed down, but asks for a tissue.

I am so smart. I anticipated this need while I was kitchen 2.75 seconds go.

I wipe his nose. I tell him I'm sorry one last time.

He reaches for my hand.

And we both fall back asleep.

****************
I'm linking this up with Heather at The Extraordinary Ordinary.

Satruday's Story Behind The Picture

I've decided that I am going to start blogging through old pictures on the first and third Saturdays of each month. I'd like to remember the story or emotions behind and write them down before I forget. Also, it will weave a nice history/legacy for our family.

This is Malone in February of 2011. He is almost 20 months old. We're on a play date with some of his friends at a place called Universal Kids where there are slides, ball pits, things to climb on/in, and dramatic play stations(Kitchen, Space, Dr.'s Office, etc)


He's wearing one of my favorite outfits from this "stage". He didn't get to wear it too often because I deemed it too nice to wear to daycare. The tiniest traces of baby are still left in his cheeks.

He was shyly confident that day. He was excited to see his friends and play but stuck close by me. We are still trying to find our rhythm as I went from full time SHAM to a working mama just a few months before. We are nursing ASAP when he gets home from daycare. I don't regret the change I've made for my family, but I wonder if I will in years to come. I am despite to see my friends (the mamas of his friends) today. I've gone from seeing them several times a week to squeezing in a weekend date, if I'm lucky.

Today, I was lucky. My batteries were recharged through play with Malone and conversation with my tribe.

Seasons of LOVE.

There is no escaping the fact that February is the designated month for LOVE. You can't go to the supermarket, drug store, or department store without being bombarded with images of hearts, roses, and candy. The Valentine's Day Grinches out there will tell you that this is a made up holiday designed to get you to purchase unnecessary things to prove your love for someone.

I on the other hand, love this time of year- like a newborn baby riding a kitten over a rainbow bridge love. I've signed Malone up for a handmade Valentine swap with other families in our Valley, my lot of vintage Valentine cards just arrived from Ebay (let the decorating begin!), I have plans with the girls to go support our friend performing in a local production of the Vagina Monologues, and Mike and I will celebrate the way we always do, with take out Chinese and an On Demand Movie of whatever we missed in the theater.

This year, the season for love is extra special. My IRL friend, Tamara Like Camera and some of her bloggie friends are hosting a Comment Love Challenge. Participating is simple- link up and comment away (keeping track of course). There is a pretty sweet prize to be won, but you'll have to read all about it and the challenge details on Tamara's page. Even if you don't win, chances are you'll get to know some great bloggers and maybe even gain a friendship or two!

Unworking From Home.

I spent the better part of the day today not at work. Malone woke up with a goopy eye and a nose full of snot. I signed on for a few hours this morning to respond to some emails, check in with my bosses, and to coordinate coverage while Malone and Daddy had breakfast. One of the best parts of working from home full time, is well working from home after all.

Usually, Mike is on the hook for all of the sick kid days since he has 3.5 times more vacation, sick, and personal days than I do. But today, he is also out of commission with a wicked cold.

The sick day rules were in full effect. Malone stayed in his pajamas all day, the apple juice was free flowing, and Cailou was shown on demand. He had the best time.

I, on the other hand, struggled to remain present. I know I'm probably not the first mother (working or SHAM) to ever feel this way, but honestly there are just not enough hours in my day. And today I felt the compulsive need to clean, organize, and do laundry since I had the extra time available. I had to constantly reign myself back in from feeling like I was "wasting" it and instead focus on caring for and hanging out with Malone.

A visit to the doctor this afternoon revealed exactly what I was hoping would not be the case- pink eye aka conjunctivitis, aka a pain in the rear. Malone has to have 24 hours of eye drops in his system before he can return, lest he spread it to all of his carrier monkey friends at daycare.

So, at least I'll get to try again tomorrow.

I'm linking up today with Shell at Things I Can't Say.